The Hidden Struggles Behind Holiday Cheer
Have you ever felt absolutely exhausted from the holiday season? For many in North America, the tradition of Christmas can be deeply exhausting and a time of great pain. There is often an expectation that with the lights and celebrations taking place, we should be feeling an unmatched joy compared to the rest of the year. Yet for many of us, Christmas means exhaustion, demand, grief, or a deep reminder of how our life does not currently meet those expectations.
Complex Emotions During the Holidays
We may feel like Christmas carols should spark excitement but instead, bring up such deep and complex emotions that don’t match this idea in our mind of what life should be like. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, have become estranged from your family, or you’ve had pain during holidays past, you may come out the other end of the New Year celebrations with such a deep sense of emotional and mental exhaustion.
The Role of Expectations in Holiday Stress
When we place such high expectations on a season to be something perfect, we allow ourselves to be set up for inner conflict. Expectation is everything when it comes to mental and emotional health. As soon as you hold self-judgment for what you ought to be doing or what you believe you’ve failed to do during this season, you’ve primed yourself for that inner pain.
3 Steps to Recover from Holiday Exhaustion
1. Accept Yourself and Your Situation
Embrace that this idea of a perfect Christmas, perfect family, perfect life, or perfect situation, does not exist for anybody. Nothing in life is going to be perfect and those flaws can have a sense of beauty to them.
- For those that have lost loved ones, accept that this is a time for grief and your loved ones deserve the tears that have been shed as a sign of your love for them.
- For those who are exhausted, accept that you are human and can only achieve so much.
- For those who give too much, accept that your mental, emotional, and physical generosity may be harmful for you by giving too much.
- For those who have religious trauma, accept that the parts of the holidays that remind you of that pain are not the parts you need and that you have not chosen to be hurt.
2. Create a Recovery Plan for January
Use the new year to focus on healing and self-care. There are some questions you should ask yourself and set an answer to:
- “What new thing should I do to help myself recover now that I’ve made it through?”
I always say that ‘self-care is best care’ and that holds true with the holiday season being over. What does that look like for you? Do you need to build something in the shed? Do a face mask or have a nice bath? Sing your favourite song at the top of your lungs? Go for a walk? Only you can know what you need for your self-care. Experiment and find out what works best! - Make a decision to try one new thing.
Something new that’s just for you can stimulate your brain in exciting ways. Perhaps it’s a new type of food you’ve never tried. Maybe you take up a new exercise class at the gym that’s outside of your comfort zone. Or you could choose a new hobby that you’ve been curious about but haven’t had the guts to give it a shot. With open curiosity and without any judgement, you might find this new stimulation can bring new life to healing from the holidays.
3. Focus on What You Can Control
Lower your expectations of what you need to do/control. You can only impact and work with so much, and there are so many things outside of your control that you cannot influence. Find those small things you can positively impact and ask yourself how you can shape those for the better.
From Pain to Healing
Recovering from a challenging season is not easy, and you are not alone in struggling with it. Taking a few small steps to take care of yourself after the pain of the season can help with your recovery and shift some of those thoughts you’ve had. Sometimes you might need that experienced and trained person to help you through it when it’s been overwhelming or difficult. A therapist can help you in far deeper ways than these suggestions, and tailor a plan of growth and healing specifically for who you are and where you’re at. We are here for you.
Written by Terry J. Stroud
MACP, CCC
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