Marriage is built on connection, communication, and mutual support.
But when one or both partners experience depression, the emotional weight can take a serious toll on the relationship. Depression doesn’t just impact the individual. it can affect intimacy, trust, conflict patterns, and the overall health of a marriage.
At Level Up Wellness Group (LUWG), we work with couples navigating the complex overlap of mental health and relationships. In this article, we’ll explore how depression can strain a marriage, and more importantly, how couples can heal together with the right support.
Understanding Depression in a Relationship Context
Depression is more than just sadness. It can show up as:
- Emotional numbness or disconnection
- Irritability, anger, or withdrawal
- Loss of interest in intimacy or shared activities
- Fatigue and low motivation
- Hopelessness and self-criticism
When one partner is depressed, the other may feel confused, rejected, or helpless. Without understanding what’s happening, partners may begin to misinterpret behaviours and unintentionally hurt each other.
5 Ways Depression Can Strain a Marriage
1. Loss of Emotional Intimacy
Depression can make it difficult to connect, communicate, or be emotionally present. This may leave the other partner feeling alone or shut out.
2. Decreased Physical Intimacy
Sexual desire often decreases with depression, which can create distance or lead to misinterpretations of rejection.
3. Imbalanced Emotional Labour
The non-depressed partner may begin to carry the emotional and logistical weight of the relationship, leading to burnout or resentment.
4. Increased Conflict or Withdrawal
Depression can amplify irritability or lead to avoidance. Misunderstandings escalate more easily.
5. Shame and Isolation
Both partners may feel guilt or shame—one for feeling “not enough,” the other for being “too much.” This isolates both people in silent pain.
The Good News: You Can Heal Together
Depression doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. Healing is possible with the right tools, support, and communication. At LUWG, we help couples:
- Understand the impact of depression on their dynamic
- Rebuild emotional and physical intimacy
- Create boundaries and healthy coping strategies
- Communicate openly without blame
- Build mutual compassion and resilience
7 Ways to Heal as a Couple When Depression Is Present
1. Name the Problem Without Blame
Depression is an illness—not a personality flaw. Shifting from blame to understanding creates space for healing.
2. Seek Individual and Couples Therapy
Working with a therapist individually and together allows each person to be supported while also tending to the relationship.
3. Learn to Talk About Mental Health
Couples can build a shared language for discussing moods, triggers, and support needs.
4. Prioritize Connection, Even in Small Moments
Even small gestures of kindness or presence (a coffee, a hug, a walk) help rebuild emotional closeness.
5. Set Realistic Expectations
Depression recovery is a process. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Therapy can help you align expectations and pacing.
6. Strengthen Your Support Network
Depression can isolate couples. Having community support and outside resources eases the burden on the relationship.
7. Practice Patience and Compassion
Remember—healing takes time. Giving each other grace is one of the most powerful things you can do.
LUWG’s Couples Counselling Approach
At Level Up Wellness Group, we specialize in working with couples facing mental health challenges. Our therapists are trained in:
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Trauma-informed and culturally responsive care
- Attachment-based couples therapy
- Communication and conflict resolution
We support couples across Alberta, British Columbia, and Ontario with online and in-person sessions.
You don’t have to go through this alone—your relationship deserves support too.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Should we do couples counselling if only one partner is depressed?
Can counselling help rebuild intimacy?
What if my partner won’t go to therapy?
How do I know if depression is affecting my marriage?
Is it okay to take breaks from talking about mental health?
Yes. Balance is key. Therapy can help couples decide when to talk about depression—and when to focus on joy and connection.
Let’s Heal Together
Marriage is not about perfection, it’s about partnership. If you or your partner are navigating depression, know that healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.
You deserve a relationship where healing can happen together.
